Off kilter

They say inspiration comes when you are quiet. When your mind is clear and you are focusing on the here and now… not the past or the future, just this moment. When there is no external stimulus and you can just “be”. Some seize such moments of quiet meditation when they’re in the shower, during an afternoon coffee break or a quiet morning walk. For me, (and probably most moms) those moments come never. Never ever. And I’ve been feeling a bit uninspired as a result.

Being in the thick of it I haven’t noticed much but after a weekend away with my family, I am feeling it. There wasn’t any quiet meditation or alone time to be had on our vacation but I made every effort to live in the moment. I enjoyed my kids and didn’t worry about the bills, work or real life as much as was humanly possible. The result was an avalanche of perspective, inspiration and the most quality time I have enjoyed with my family in a really, really long time.

What an awesome mom I am when mothering is all I have to do. I wasn’t rushing anyone out the door, had time to respond suitably to “look mom!” and had nothing “better” to do than cuddle, kiss and play with my boys. Is it any wonder that the kids’ behavior improved?

I came home determined to translate that feeling into our every day lives somehow but without William even back in school yet we’re already knee deep in the mad rush of work, my husband’s schooling, bills and the myriad of “responsibilities” that take us away from that happy place. I’m feeling a tremendous need right now to get my ducks in a row and find balance in my life. How to make it happen remains a mystery but plan on noticing a difference in me and my family in the (hopefully) not so distant future. And maybe cross your fingers for me.

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