For me, working from home doesn’t mean I have a nanny in the other room watching my babies. I don’t have my husband at home working in the other room. For me, working from home means I am mothering and working at the same time.
So, you might ask, where are my kids when I’m interviewing mompreneurs or neurosurgeons or child welfare program directors? Today I’m going to tell you.
Please note that these methods can also be applied when mommy needs a shower, some space, or to finish the last couple of pages of her book. I will ask again, does this make me a bad mom? I don’t think so. I think it makes me a resourceful mom who gives her children lots of opportunities to grow their independence. At least that’s what I tell myself. So here are my 8 keys to freedom, in no particular order:
1. Play-Doh. Moms don’t love Play-Doh. Why? Because it’s messy, it’s messy and it’s messy. And it travels. I find Play-Doh all over my house; on the bottom of shoes, under couch cushions and smashed into bed-sheets. So I don’t get it out too often. When I do, my kids are glued and I can get through almost 15 minutes of a conversation before I am interruped. 15 minutes! That’s like two-and-a-half days in mommy time.
2. Butcher paper. I keep a big roll of butcher paper in my closet and once every so often (not too often or the shine wears off and you will lose minutes) I tear off a sheet, tape it to the wall and plop a bucket of crayons down next to it. It’s been really cool to see the things my kids have created together this way. Unfortunately, crayon tends to stray off the edge of the paper sometimes but hey, beggars can’t be choosers.
3. SpongeBob. I don’t like SpongeBob but my kids do, so we compromise. I don’t let them watch it regularly but once every few weeks when I really need some time. And I get it!
4. Pbskids.org. Or “p-b-s dock ord,” according to Jack. This is brilliant because my kids will sit right next to me, one computer over, quietly sharing and learning for as long as I will let them.
5. Print some coloring sheets of your kids’ favorite things — for mine, it’s dinosaurs or Bakugans — and put them at the table with the crayons. Just google “dinosaur coloring sheets” or “spiderman coloring pages” to find just the right thing.
6. Keep a box of toys up out of your kids’ reach (for me it’s a special set of Legos) to pull down only on occasions when you need their attention completely diverted.
7. Believe it or not, this one really works and is my favorite for obvious reasons: Give your child a wet washrag or two or a small stack of baby wipes and assign him or her to wipe all the smudges off the walls. You will have to point them out in the beginning but this is one of my kids’ favorite things to do and will keep them busy for quite a while. And since they are only cleaning up their own handiwork you can feel like you are teaching them to take responsibility for themselves as well.
8. Popsicle sticks! Popsicle sticks and glue, popsicle sticks and markers, whatever the combination just add popsicle sticks and you’re good. Throw in pipe cleaners and it’s a party!
Once the fun of any of these activities wears off, be ready with a small stash of fruit snacks, string cheese, fruit leather or anything that will give you just a minute or two more to wrap up your project and you’re set!
I know I didn’t think of everything, so I will likely run a similar list again. Work-at-home-moms, what did I miss?
I always thought mohawks were stupid. Then I had boys and now they’re cute. My boys’ hair always ends up in spikes along the tops of their heads straight out of the shower and they beg and beg for us to mohawk or at least fohawk their hair on an almost dialy basis. We did it once and we got so much flack from family and friends that it only lasted a couple of days. I wish I could see the harm in it.
I understand that kids get judged by their appearance. Sad but true. Kids with scraggly hair, dirty clothes or rotten teeth get blown off and blamed. Kids in matching Gap ensembles with trendy sneakers, freckles and well-groomed hair get fawned over. I get that. Why give grown-ups a reason to think less of oyour child out of the gate, right?
I also understand the other side… who cares what people think? Let kids express their individuality and learn to deal with flack from “closed-minded people”. Yeah… I don’t really feel the need to do that to my kids right now. They’re not going to know why people around them assume they are trouble-makers. They will only know it isn’t fair.
I am convinced that the nagging voice in your mind that makes you question putting your baby on a strict schedule, leaving him with that sitter or weaning your him before you feel ready is more than just mommy guilt. I call it intuition.
When my first baby was born and broke out in rash after rash after rash that voice told me that something in his environment wasn’t right. It left me uneasy about the ingredients I couldn’t pronounce on his jars of baby food. And it convinced me to get the kids out of the house the first time we had a pest control company come spray for the first time. All part of my wake-up story.
So we switched to a fragrance free laundry detergent, using half what the directions said and adding natural products to make up the difference. We skipped jarred baby food. And we chased the ants away with borax and baby powder.
Like any family, we go through cycles and there is only so much we can do in the way of chemical-free living on a shoe-string budget but we do what we can. Here are some of the other ways we cut out chemicals:
Cleaning with vinegar and baking soda
Limiting the use of antibiotics and other medications
Using cloth diapers and cloth wipes when we can
Cutting out products with added fragrances
Avoiding packaged, convenience food
DIY instead of buy as much as possible (granola, deodorant, detergent, etc.)
Like I said, we cycle. Lately I’ve been lazier than usual but this video, A Wake-Up Story, was just what I needed to snap me out of it.
What do you think: Fear mongering propaganda? Or a worthwhile message? I’ve heard both but I vote the latter.
A handful of ric-rac, two strips of bias tape and a cloth diaper never looked so cute! Inspired by this blog post, I started making these burp cloths a couple of years ago as a fun, cheap and functional baby shower gift.
Most new moms walk away from their showers with stacks of cute flannel burp-cloths matching outfits and blankets they recieved. But if that baby turns out to be a spitter, flannel isn’t going to cut it. A cloth diaper will, so why not dress it up and make it fun. Here’s how:
Materials:
1 cloth diaper
pink ric rac
orange single-fold bias tape
green single-fold bias tape
pink and white thread
Instructions:
Cut two lengths of ric-rac as long as the diaper. With pink thread, sew the ric-rac along each middle seam. Cut a strip each of the green and organge tape about an inch longer than the diaper’s width. Fold the ends of the green tape under and with white thread, sew along the top and bottom edges of the tape attaching it to the top of the diaper, over the ric-rac. Do the same with the orange on the other end.
I usually do two for each mom. Then tie a cute ribbon around them and voila… your baby gift is good to give!
Garbonzo bean cookies. Sound yummy? No? You’d be surprised. After dropping many not-so-subtle hints when the book first appeared on Costco shelves I was thrilled to receive Jessica Seinfeld’s, Deceptively Deliciousfor Christmas in 2007. With a picky eater at home, Seinfeld’s idea — to puree nutrient packed veggies and hide them in delicious kid-friendly meals and treats — sounded like just what the doctor ordered for our family.
Unfortunately, when it came down to physically pureeing spinach and other veggies to include in brownie batter and grilled cheese my enthusiasm for the system died off.
But one recipe stuck with us: Chocolate Chip Cookes (with chickpeas). (FYI, chickpeas = garbanzo beans.) I was nervous at first. Beans and chocolate chips don’t usually belong in the same mixer but these cookies stack up well next to any chocolate chip cookie recipe I’ve ever tasted. And I feel like my kids are actually being nourished while they snack. Even my picky Chris loves them! If you know him personally, you will share my shock of his hours old exclamation, “Thanks so much for making these cookies, Mom!” That’s right… Chris.
In light of Christopher’s continued picky-induced malnourishment and the recent loss of two of his weak, decayed teeth. I am dusting off my copy of Deceptively Delicious, determined to give it another shot.
Have you tried the book? What’s your favorite recipe?
I don’t have time to cook. Seriously. I chase two young children around all day, haul a six year-old to school and back and a husband to school and work, I work from home, work away from home, serve at church, help with school, sew, craft, be friendly, keep clothes on people and the house liveable… I don’t have time to cook. Still, my family needs to eat. Or so they say.
For this purpose was the Crockpot invented. Oh, Crockpot, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways…. At least half of our dinners come to us courtesy of my trusty Crockpot’s lovely warm belly. I have lots of yummy Crockpot recipes but I rarely use them because I am a huge unmotivated dinner cheater. I have a loose formula that I use for my Crockpot meals and it hasn’t failed me yet. To try it for yourself, here’s what you’ll need:
Meat. Any size, any shape, whatever you’ve got.
(dry beans or lentils work great too)
1 package of onion soup mix or some garlic salt and your favorite seasonings.
1 can of cream of mushroom soup and/or 1 C of matching boullion
optional: garlic, onions, celery or anything your heart desires
Cook on low all day or on high through the afternoon and go from there. If I have a beef roast in the Crockpot, I will add onions, potatoes and carrots about halfway through the cooking process. I served these pork chops (above) over rice. Chicken? Leave out the onion soup and mix a package of Stove Top stuffing into a can of cream of mushroom soup and craisins and spread over top of the poultry and boullion.
The possibilities are endless, the crowds are pleased and tummies are full. The only flaw is with that yummy smell wafting through the house all hours of the day, by dinner time you’ll be ready to eat and eat good!
I left my kids to go to work today. Not with their dad or grandma… with a sitter. This is something I swore I would never do. I’m a stay-at-home mom. That kind of mom. I’m not a go-to-work and leave my kids kind of mom. If I only go once a week does that really count? And when I work at home and I can’t cater to my kids every need and they are sitting in front of the TV what kind of mom does that make me?
When my oldest son was born I had very clear ideas of what attitudes and behaviors warrant placement in the good mom and bad mom categories. Good moms, I ascertained, are excited to stay home with their kids all the time. They sit on the floor and engage their kids in stimulating cognitive activities, shape sandwiches with cookie cutters and plan arts and crafts to foster those fine motor skills. Good moms don’t need hobbies or distractions or any kind of personal fulfillment because their kids are fulfillment enough… top priority at all times. Good moms never complain about motherhood or anything attached to it. They don’t need to get away from their kids, ever. Moms that do, of course are selfish and unenlightened. Right?
As usually happens in any aspect of my life where I have things “all figured out” I turned out to be oh so very, very wrong. It is true that good moms do many of those things listed above. And many feel very fulfilled doing just that. Other good moms go to work every day to teach children math or build airplanes or enforce the law. Good moms love their kids. They love them wherever they are every where they go.
When good moms must leave their kids, they take great pains to make sure they are safe, well cared for and enriched. Good moms take care of themselves. They chase dreams. They teach their children to do what inspires them, to work hard and never to give up. When good moms go home, they snuggle with their kids, learn about their day, and make up for lost time.
Do I have to be a particular kind of mom? Don’t make me choose. Can I just be a good mom because I love my children, pray for them and do everything in my power to raise them right? I want to be a good mom. But I also want to be a good me. A happy me. Can the two co-exist? I like to think so.
Newborns are hard! It’s bizarre how something so tiny, so precious, so loved and anticipated can inspire such feelings of fear and anxiety in the hearts of even the most doting new mother. Was that a sleeping noise or a waking noise? Does she really have to nurse again? Please tell me that poop-splosion didn’t just paint my pants. Is this rash normal? Is there any point in getting dressed with all of these bodily fluids flying around? In the case of painful nursing issues, feelings of terror and tears in the mother frequently follow any hungry cues from baby. I am intimately acquainted with this issue.
For some moms this isn’t the case at all. A friend of mine just had her sixth child. She swears she actually feels better when she’s pregnant and then two days after the baby’s birth she’s back on schedule, helping out at school and church and running her business. I’m vaguely certain that these mothers exist just to make the rest of us feel really, really bad about ourselves.
This week I’ve been entrenched in helping two of my dearest friends get through their first postpartum weeks as smoothly as possible and in doing so I’ve been reminded of a couple of my favorite tricks for doing just that:
Nurse your baby right away after birth to avoid latching problems, low blood sugar and body temp issues.
See a lactation consultant in the hospital and for more than one feeding if possible.
Put people to work. When people ask if they can do anything to help they mean it! Have them bring in food, hold the baby so you can have a shower, wash and fold laundry, do dishes, coordinate visits and helpers… anything you need done.
Nursing issues only get worse when you get home. If you are having trouble, line someone up to see you in your home before you even get there!
Sleep! If you have a choice between getting something done and taking a nap, take a nap. Ask a visitor to help tidy up or take out the trash. People love to help! It makes them feel a part of and contributor to your new family.
Don’t expect too much of yourself. Everyone works at a different pace and everything deals with stress and change in different ways.
Play a show or movie you love when you are up for midnight feedings. This lessens feelings of loneliness and helps you to relax at a time when it’s easy to be frustrated.
If you have an older child, make nursing time family snack time. Have someone pick up special snacks that are just for nursing times and sit your older child next to you for a family snack.
Drink lots of water! If you are dehydrated, your might be soon. It’s easy to lose track of time in the hospital and come home dry and parched.
And here I will stop to remind myself I’m not writing a book but a blog post. The rest will have to wait. Happy postpartum recovery to all!
It’s Friday night, dad’s working late, Christopher’s off with his aunt and uncle for a night of birthday fun and I am stuck at home with no car. What do I do with the two mopey-faced boys left behind to make it feel like the weekend?
First, pizza pockets, of course…
In front of a movie of William’s choice (with nobody to argue it)…
Followed by a blue version of a family favorite, Pink Popcorn (recipe below). And it’s a party!
Recipes:
Pizza Pockets
Follow this roll recipe for the dough. After it rises, divide into 8 equal pieces. Allow to rise for about 10 minutes and then roll each piece out (or work flat with your hands like a pizza crust) and fill one half of the dough circle with sauce, shredded mozzarella and your favorite pizza toppings. Fold the top over and pinch and roll the edges up like a pie crust.
Sauce
1 can tomato sauce
1 can tomato paste
(sometimes I add 1 can diced tomatoes)
1 tablespoon or so sugar (to taste)
2 or 2 teaspoons balsamic vinegar (to taste)garlic salt
oregano
italian seasoning
Heat in a sucepan.
Pink Popcorn 1 cube butter
1 cup sugar
2/3 cup corn syrup
food coloring
Melt butter. Add sugar and corn syrup and bring to a boil for about 1 1/2 minutes. Pour over air popped corn. Form into balls with greased hands or eat it straight out of the bowl. [Disclaimer: This recipe was posted for purely informational reasons. I am in no way encouraging that you indulge in such an irresponsibly unhealthy treat and will therefore not be held responsible for sugar highs, sugar comas, tooth decay or such complications that may result from the use of this recipe.]
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